NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) occurs in November every year. If you are not familiar with this event, it is a time of year that accomplished and aspiring novelist have a mental break and attempt to write a novel in 30 days. Yes, you heard me a novel in 30 days. I totally ignored NaNoWritMo this year, like straight up ignored it. On December 1, 2016 I decided I was tried of excuses. I claim that I am a writer, but have I taken the steps to actually be that person?
I love working with my husband and I love being a mom, but in my heart deep down where no one has access but me I know there is a writer. I have scribbled in journals and played with prose my entire life. I have volumes of hidden thought and stories. I even write my prayers.
After 2016 NoNaWriMo month passed away gently and mercifully into the night, I was working on my planner, (yes I am a planner person and I use stickers and washi tape to make it beautiful), and thinking how it is almost time to write out those New Year’s resolutions. Something came over me, I felt the cold fingers of fear wrapping around my hope for a successful new year, what if I fail again? Another year, the paper still blank my stories still hidden deep inside. I felt tears pushing up and my eyes stung, I realized if I am ever going to accomplish my desire to be a published writer, I must conquer my fear.
It is stifling, it is paralyzing, it holds me down, it causes my chest to tighten and sends me seeking frantically other ways to fill the void . It is the fear of rejection and possibility of truly being a failure that resonates so loudly that I have spent years refusing to comply with my God-given urge to write. I am not one that most people would peg as fearful or even more so, a failure. Truth, I am when it comes to sharing my words all these things. I am horrified at the thought of not being good enough. To fulfill that one longing in my heart that would expose me and allow others to see I am not as tough as I pretend. I simply don’t talk about it. I am surprised that I am sharing it now. It’s hard to be honest with yourself to lay bare the possibilities of your own failure.
I guess what I am trying to share is all people have fear. It is how you deal with it that matters. I have decided that I am going to face it, and trust that God gave me a gift and to not use it is actually failure.
In an effort to begin the process of overcoming my fear, I made a tracker for my writing, and put it in my planner. I set a writing goal of 1500 words a day, takin
g Sundays off of course. I decided to wake up at 7:30am and conquer my writing time first thing, and not allow myself any excuses. (NaNoMoExDec = No More Excuses December). Additionally, I created a private group on Facebook (Write.Now.) Send me request and you can be added, to encourage and hold other writers accountable. I made this declaration on the 1st of the month, right smack dab before all the craziness of the holidays.GUESS WHAT!
I am happy to report that just a few days before the hustle and bustle comes to a conclusion, I have met and surpassed my goals. I have over 45,000 words in my first draft and of those 45,000 words I have written 31,260 have met the page since December 1. In addition to the my Sunday off policy, I have had to take 2 days of travel time which left me doing editing for an hour and one day I simply had to take off because of prior commitments. That adds up to 16 days of writing to put 31,260 word on the page.
I am sharing this in hopes that it can inspire some other passion, to let you know you can do it. It is a choice to allow your fear to keep you from blooming into the beautiful, amazing, fantastic, purposeful human being you were created to become.